Freedom
by isis-sg1
Summary: When all hope is lost, sometimes there's one one way out Jesse angst


This is a one off. I don't normally like writing major, dramatic death fics but this was in my head so I hope you like it.

I do what seemed to be

the right thing at one time

But now that time has passed

and I'm the last one

Walking down this path

Can't you see me falling an endless fall?

Can't you hear me calling a never ending call?

Can't you see me bleeding? I'm losing control

Can't you see me dying? I'm dying alone

Jesse stumbled in the abandoned warehouse. The empty expanse of the room and the chill in the air, a metaphor for how he was feeling. He walked further into the building, ignoring the cold and taking in the silence. Lifting up the bottle in his right hand he gulped down the last of his tequila and threw the bottle to the ground, letting it smash into a thousand pieces. He swayed from the effect from the alcohol and fell to the ground as his legs crumpled underneath his weight. The exhaustion all too apparent. He closed his eyes and placed his head in his hands. For one moment he wanted to forget. Forget everything that had happened top him in the last couple of years. He groaned in frustration, no matter how much he tried, the images of death kept coming back to him. He knew that what he was about to do was the only way to escape, the only way to be at peace with what had happened. Reaching into the back of his trousers he pulled out a gun. It felt heavy in his hands as he slowly pulled it close to his body. His hand shook as he lifted it to the side of his head. Again he closed his eyes, he just wanted everything to be over.

"I'm sorry" He whispered to himself. He took the safety off and his finger tightened over the trigger.

"No!" He only barely registered the voice. He felt a hand push the gun out of his hand and the bullet was released in another direction. In rage he swung at the man bringing him to the ground level with Jesse.

"You Bastard!" Jesse shouted at the figure on the floor. Jesse pulled himself up and stood over the man. He watched as he turned over onto his back so Jesse could see who it was.

"Adam" He spoke with hatred. Adam lifted himself up onto his elbows and shifted back just in case Jesse was about to have a go at him again. For the first time Adam could see Jesse's face.

"You look terrible" Adam spoke softly. Jesse turned away from Adam. He knew he was right. He hadn't shaved or cut his hair since the first death. His face and clothes were covered in dirt. It was obvious he hadn't washed in ages. His eyes were also bloodshot and the were huge bags under his eyes from a lack of sleep. Blood stained his clothing which hung off him like he hadn't eaten in years.

"How did you find me?" Jesse asked.

"Your com-ring, you left it on" Jesse looked down at the now grubby ring on his finger. It was once shiny and new. His life-line, his way to communicate with his family. He was always so proud of because he shared it with his team, his family. Now it was the one thing that had kept him from peace. He pulled it off clumsily and threw it across the room. The sound echoed as it fell onto the hard concrete ground.

"Leave me alone Adam" Jesse told him forcefully.

"I can't do that" There was an empty silence. Both men had nothing to say. Jesse stood over Adam, breathing heavily, his arms hanging limp by his sides.

"Where's everyone else?" Adam broke the quiet. "Where's Shalimar, Lexa and Brennan"

"There're gone" Jesse whispered. He hardly wanted to admit it to himself, let alone tell the person he hated the most.

"Gone where?"

"They're dead Adam!" Jesse shouted "They're all dead!"

"What?" Adam couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Lexa died not long after you left us, I loved her Adam but I was powerless to save her life. Not long after that I watched Brennan die. He was my brother and he always had my back but when it cam down to his life I guess I didn't have his." Adam listened quietly at Jesse's fury. "Nearly a year after Brennan died I held Shalimar in my arms as her body failed her. She died in my arms. Do you know what its like to watch your family die? Knowing that at the end of it you'll survive and be left alone?"

You're all alone

Running out of ways to Hold on to hope

And it always slips away

You're all alone

"I'm sorry Jesse I didn't know"

"I know you didn't, cos if you did you would have done something, right Adam? If you did know and you stood there and watched while it happened, I'll kill you with that gun right now"

"I didn't know Jesse!"

"You know how many sleepless nights after the explosions at the dominion head quarters I spent trying to find you, trying to find an answer, any answer to save them?…You know how many test I performed or scientists I talk to? I would always find myself at the edge of what I knew and it was never enough. They begged for me to help them Adam, they begged for the pain to stop. I've never seen them beg for anything but they would beg me to kill them to stop the pain." Tears began to fall from Jesse's eyes as he heard their voices. He could still hear their screams of pain as they slowly died. His voice became rough from shouting so much and he paused to get his breath back.

"You did your best"

"But that wasn't good enough"

"It that why you want to kill yourself?"

"I want to be with them, Its better than living here alone, living in some sort of hell or nightmare"

"Killing yourself isn't the answer"

"Its my answer. You know, I always looked at the guns pointed in my face and I could laugh. Because I knew that I would survive. But now it's the only way…it's a fitting way for me to end it all. I'm not going to let you stop me"

"We can talk about it Jesse. I can help you"

"Its too late!" Jesse rose his voice again, tears now running freely "Its too goddamn late! You can't just turn up after everything I've been through and expect me to just let everything go! I have nothing to live for. The least you can do is let me go, Let me die"

"I can't do that"

"You can't stop me" Jesse moved over to where the gun had fallen and picked it up. He pointed it at Adam. "Do you know how much I would love to kill you right now, for not being there when we all needed you"

"Jesse Don't"

"Don't worry, I would waste my last bullet on you, you don't deserve to die" Jesse pulled the gun away from Adam and brought it round to point at himself. Adam stood up and ran to Jesse, taking hold of the gun he fought for control. It moved back and forth hovering over Jesse's heart. Both were stunned as they heard the band, the deadly bullet piercing skin. Eyes widened in pain. Blood poured. Eyes closed in Freedom.


End file.
